Introspection + Contemplation + Ideals

Dreams are supposedly hard to remember because we don't access our long term memory when we dream. That's why we forget them so easily. In my lifetime, I've had some interesting dreams... of which I've forgotten most. I just know I had them... I think. But there have been two such dreams which were very vivid and which I remember to this day.

During my last year of university, I was extremely stressed and approaching a breaking point. I was doubtful of my future and felt no control of my destiny, regardless of how much I tried. Where was my life to go? I faced the possibility of going nowhere with no undergrad degree, no prospects. This future, or lack of it, was very real and tangible. And the thought of any Biblical story was far from my mind.

Then one night, out of nowhere, I dreamt of Peter walking on water toward Jesus from Matthew 14. It was vivid like a movie playing in my mind. The viewpoint was from Peter's eyes and I remember walking out on to the water and looking down at my feet.

Have faith like Peter and you can do great things. A voiced lingered in my mind.

Although Peter eventually felt fear and fell into the water, he had the initial faith to step out and walk.

Have faith like Peter and you can do great things.

This message has had a profound impact on my life. With God holding me together, I got through it. I did graduate, I got a job against all odds and I found a purpose. I am so thankful for this and I know that there is work to be done.

Another dream I had was several years prior to the one above. This other dream was of the scary kind.

The morning of September 11th, 2001 at around 7:50 am... yes, the day of the attacks on the World Trade Center, I awoke from a nightmare.

In the dream, I had the sense that the end of the world was coming - dread, fear and panic.

I was on my 11th floor apartment balcony facing the east. My mom and I, we were looking to the sky and it was red and we could feel intense heat on our skin. Up in the sky, hurling towards us were four fireballs. At these times I wish I could paint like Renoir.

"What does it mean?"
"What does it mean to you?"
I simply don't know, but there were four planes that crashed that day and many people died. I suppose the dream was like a "disturbance in the force".

God works in mysterious ways, and he is not always clear to us and things become evident much later. I believe God speaks when He so chooses.

There have been times in my life where it was absolutely hopeless; A place where my spirit was broken. I did everything possible according to my own strength and still failed.

And to this very day and many years to come, I remain utterly thankful for the life given to me.

Many years ago, my beloved Athos gave me a fountain pen as a gift. I was taken aback by the elegance of the writing instrument. The curves, the weight and the power; the smooth yet textured feeling when writing with it, is unmatched.

Unfortunately, the ink did not flow to see great poetry nor the signing of extravagant checks. It saw mostly the writing of calculus formulas, the scribbles of the writer dozing off in lectures and the occasional doodles.

Being in the IT business, I no longer write much with a pen. Instead, the keyboard has become my pen... and coffee has become my ink.

How I do miss those days of writing.

But I suppose if I dwell on this pen too much, I am missing the point. I suppose the point is really about writing, speaking, thinking and ultimately, expression.

This blog has been a joy because it gives me the freedom to write. And as my dear philosopher friend quotes an article in her blog - "Blogs are by nature very personal—an intimate, often ferocious expression of the blogger's passions"

Although the fountain pen, the mighty fountain pen may be dead, may you live to express freely.

So I've resorted to blogging about instant noodles.

I must admit, there is nothing that soothes this Korean's belly like the one and only high sodium, high MSG, nutritionally deficient Shin Ramen.

I know its not healthy, but it tastes so good! So, I try to limit to eating this to once per month.

An ancient art: I learned to cook instant noodles at a young age. In fact, it was the very first thing I learned to cook.

And over the years, I have perfected this delicate process of cooking instant noodles (In reality, I merely put extra bits of this and that).

Ingredients:
1 Shin Ramen, rice, 1 egg, Kimchi, rice cake

- Boil water (not too much water otherwise it becomes too watery)
- Add vegetable packet + rice cakes
- Boil 1 minute
- Add noodles and 80% soup base (discard rest of soup base)
- Boil 1 minute
- Add egg and immediately stir, to prevent the egg from being cooked in a clump (personal preference)
- Enable Kimchi fusion: liberally add Kimchi soup and cabbage

- Eat noodles
- Once noodles are almost done, add rice, continue to eat

YUM!

And you've now got enough sodium and calories to last you a couple of days.

Be warned that this man is set on his ways, very set on his ways... when it comes his ramen. Be wary if you dare cross paths with me and try to cook me noodles...

There is something about these noodles. Strangely, right after eating, my vocal chords are warmed up and I'm ready to sing!

Here is one of my favourite paintings: Le Bal au Moulin de la Galette
A masterpiece of impressionist art by Pierre Auguste Renoir.
I'm no art connoisseur, but I can tell you why I like this artwork.
I like it because... it's just great and I like it! We don't have to be so learnededed to appreciate beauty, do we?

At first glance you see a party going on and the two women in the center of the painting.

Look closer...

There is more going on in this painting then just a ball. If you look to the far right, there is a young man looking at the girl in the dark dress. A story unfolds that I can only image.

The girls have their attention to the guy with his back to us. The younger girl (I'm assuming) is looking off somewhere yet still listening, while the girl in the dark dress is locked in conversation. Then there is the young man with the hat on the far right.

A brief glance perhaps, but immortally frozen in this painting. He is frozen, while the crowd bustles with activity.

This is what this painting does to me. I feel like I'm in the painting and it evokes an emotional response.

I have the utmost respect for artists. Being raised by parents who are painters, I saw first hand how so much goes into art.

It's amazing, how art speaks to you in an emotional language. We are emotional creatures after all and to master, manipulate and create something that the viewer can relate to, something that will move the viewer... amazing.

Here is Sur la Terrasse by Renoir. This is one of my better half's favorite paintings. In her words "...she has such a content look about her. She looks young but that expression gives her maturity. And I love the vivid, striking contrast of her red hat to the rest of the painting".

A few more bits of info:
"To achieve the appearance of spontaneity, impressionist painters used broken brushstrokes of bright, often unmixed colors" - msn encarta
Impressionism is said to have influenced future art "by recreating the sensation in the eye that views the subject, rather than recreating the subject..." - wikipedia

I suppose I'm going on a theme here... French cuffs, French blue shirts, French impressionist art...

French fries anyone?