Introspection + Contemplation + Ideals

Who are you and what is your brand?
What value can you add?
What unique skills and insightful perspective can you contribute?

In which we have our resumes at hand: A few pages of writing to show what we can do, giving us identity; A few pages to showcase our skills and relevant experiences proving we are "top talent"; That we are valuable people and worth a certain salary.

And still it's not enough. We are bombarded by society to develop more and more our sales skills, leadership skills, managerial and technical skills.

On top of this we are invariably told to do the smart thing and make an investment in something; To get ahead and increase our financial net worth.

And we are told to love.

Wait... society doesn't bombard us to be loving, not overwhelmingly anyway. Wouldn't that be weird if it did? I find that the only strong message to be loving or caring come from the religious institutions that have become largely irrelevant, misinterpreted and forgotten by the non-religious. That and also children's shows like Sesame Street.

Perhaps that's why there is an influx of social justice and environmentalist movements among the socially conscious. These are dire times in the world, but maybe it speaks something about what people were created to do. That is, to love. Could it be that our souls have been so sapped by Western culture's push for productivity, self importance and self improvement that after the splurge in materialism turning out to be ineffective in dealing with matters of the heart, we now en mass turn to do something about this tug in our hearts?

If you've been doing something about the pains of the world before it became a cool and romantic endeavor, before it was good to include on a resume or business school application, then you are awesome.

Yet maybe I'm being too harsh... if the net effect is that people are helped, then perhaps motives aren't so important... another topic for another day.

I believe we should cultivate and grow our hearts so that this muscle that pumps blood through our veins remains strong, giving us energy to care for others and courage to do what is right. We should seek to develop a heart able enough in it's ability to love so that when the time of testing comes, it may not fail us.

Instead of seeking to build a resume full of accreditations and experiences demonstrating leadership, we should look to develop that unseen resume full of experiences and achievements done through a loving heart which includes both big causes and small daily ones.

Because, I believe that is what God will be looking for in the end.

There was song and dance. Tears and laughter. Three beautiful maids and three noble musketeers with questionable mustachios. A sword duel with a one eyed man. A Ph.D student turned (cinderella fashion) into a limo driver for the night. An Apple addict turned country singer. Love was in the air: a budding romance between the flower girl and the ring boy.










There was enough excitement to fill a Bollywood movie or Korean drama, and enough happiness for the groom to be still smiling late into the night.

And the next day the couple left for Cuba to live happily ever after...
for a week.

What an ordeal weddings are. Seriously, whoever invented the modern day wedding and its affiliated practices should be... told something.

The weeks before the wedding and even now... weeks after the wedding, there is work, work, work... just for the sake of two people living together and creating a home.

Before the wedding, we found ourselves simultaneously:
1) Planning a big party
2) Planning to move into an apartment
3) Planning for a trip to Cuba
4) Preparing ourselves mentally, spiritually to live together.

You can imagine that each of these four events are quite the events themselves and could be a big deal on its own. Yet it was done. None of which could have been possible without the help and support of friends and family.

Thank you and I hope it was fun. It sure was fun for us.

And of course getting married is not a destination to arrive at, but a starting point for a greater journey. So now we start our homemaking: the cleaning, the rearranging, the snoring, not having cookies and having cookies, and assembling of Ikea furniture.



One question though... where in the world does Ikea come up with furniture names like INGOLF, HOPEN, FORSBY?

What can I say? I am lucky in love. It will be our 9 year anniversary soon, which is also the day of our wedding. Who knew nine years ago that I would be marrying this wonderful person. Yes, sappy indeed, so please try to overcome the sappiness as you read.

As they say in the programming work I do, the "go-live" date is fast approaching in less then three weeks! And then we will be husband and wife. Should I be busy reading some books on "how to become a husband"? =)

Indeed, it is exciting times for me and my fiancée. We've had many memorable memories to date: getting the ring and asking her to marry me, the roaring applause of our friends at a certain restaurant the first friday after the engagement, the thick plotted surprise engagement party several weeks later, the renting of certain secret costumes (those that know... shhh!!!), scanning bar codes for the gift registry at our favourite discount retailer, chasing and getting our elusive apartment, finding out of certain "dirty" bridal shower gifts, clearing out two Wal-Marts worth of chocolates...

And don't worry, we will not disappear once we are married. It is continually cemented in our minds that life is about relationships. So I really hope to avoid situations where you will feel uncomfortable in the presence of a lovey dovey couple... but you may yell at us to "get a room!" if we ever do. And for those helping us through this time and have invested in us these years... thank you.

I am lucky, because she is certainly the only person in the world that would put up with me and my antics.

I have a secret obsession to admit.
I'm in love with... shoes. In grade 4, after throwing many fits and tantrums, I was the proud wearer of these Nike Air Max. With their late 80s sizzling hot colors, nothing screamed "spoiled brat" more than these. Yet, they allowed me to freely gallivant during recess and roam many rolling hills during the summer of 1990. I made sure I got them many sizes larger so that I could grow in to them, with the only problem being that they fell off my feet very easily.

Shoes. If you think about it, you rely on them every day to provide comfort and style, assurance and confidence. They give you the bounce in your step. You depend on them to be durable, to stand the test of time and resist the elements. And they can give a young boy the little bit of self esteem he lacks.

You can't rush a shoe purchase. Oh no. Shoes can be the biggest pain when they are not comfortable or if they chew holes in your socks. If picked right, they can be a source of comfort. You can gaze at them when standing, when bored, when shy. Oh, that ever so familiar sight!

I'm not a collector of shoes; that is, I don't have a room full of them. I prefer a monogamous relationship as much as possible with the few shoes I have. As they get worn in and age, they become so personal, so part of you. A loyalty is built up as they become that faithful travel buddy. I'm always saddened when a good pair of shoes wears down quickly. Luckily I know a good local shoe repairman that can extend the life of my shoes.

Nowadays, dress shoes are my thing. There is something enjoyable about taking the time to polish them. And lately, I'm thinking of getting brown dress shoes. But I hear that you have to match them with a brown leather belt and brown watch band and brown hair and they don't go all too well with black pants. So complicated! I was kidding about the brown hair.

I was thinking of some analogy and life application to shoes, but there are too many, so I will just reminisce... and resist the urge to wear sizzling hot colors again. All I will say is that in the walk of life, you need some good shoes to take you places.

Is my mind half full or half empty? Of what you ask? I like to think that it's more full of optimism than not.

Some may see this glass of liquid as 'half full' while some may see the same cup as 'half empty'.

Just like the glass, you can look at life from different perspectives and have different opinions on things. A matter of optimism vs. pessimism, positivity vs. negativity.

There are things in life that I really value, that I find worth in. What those are exactly is not the point, but I'm thinking in a broader general sense. Take my university experience for example. As I discussed before, I learned and grew much. But to some others, the university experience (be it the particular school or program of study) was a waste of time and money.

Or take church for example. Some are negative about (their own) church and say it lacks this and that and express discontentment. But the exact same church is my place of comfort and contentment. Can we see things so differently?

Or Canadian health-care for example. Some say that the country's health care is deteriorating. But easily forgotten is the fact that we have universal public health care and state of the art medical facilities which many in the world don't have.

Do you notice the fullness or the emptiness?

I guess this shows, people experience life in different ways. Perhaps they do recognize that what we have is good and acceptable but are also saying it can be much better... and they fret over the 10% that could be improved. Don't get me wrong, I'm all in favor of ambition and progress and we should definitely strive to achieve more. But do we have to be such grumps about it?

I like to think that my optimism isn't just mindless, hopeless empty rhetoric. My optimism comes from focusing on the positives, in the beauty of things. I believe to bear the burdens of life well (and so far it's worked), we must try to take the best things out of situations and learn from it and adapt because of it. To notice only the negatives or dwell mostly on the negatives distracts you far too easily from the positives and leads you to a path of frustration.

If you look for the negatives, you are sure to find it in everything.

There are times when I've talked excitedly to others about a certain movie, restaurant, store or product, only to be met with an unenthusiastic or condescending "...it was OK, it was so so". Perhaps these folks have a much finer taste in these things that is beyond me... or are just different, which is fine.

Yes, having different opinions and perspectives makes life interesting, sometimes leading to great duels of words and ideas. With that in mind, I optimistically hope that you take note of the beautiful and good things in life and learn to focus on them. Disagree as you may with others, I ask that you try not to ruin the good and beautiful things experienced by them.

“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only beauty.” (Preface)

The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde

In my business travels, I am called Sir a lot - from flight attendants, taxi drivers, hotel and restaurant workers, airport employees (minus the custom guards who I always call Sir or Ma'am).

"Hello Sir", "Thank you Sir", "Take care Sir".

While this may be just common courtesy and may not mean much, I feel being called Sir is undeserving for me. Sure, I am playing the part of the businessman and they the servers. Sure, it's a sign of respect, but I feel undeserving of that respect, because I've done nothing to earn it. I mean just because I'm dressed up and able to pay (with company money) for these services... does that makes me entitled to be called Sir? I don't think so.

Some people may like being called Sir, but me... being called Sir by others, especially older people is weird. In Korean culture, it's important and common to show respect to those that are older then you. And certainly, I try to call people Sir when I can.

Just the other day, as I was being dropped off at home by a taxi driver, I was going to say "Thank you, good night Sir".
But then he said "Thank you Sir" first.
So I just left it at "Thank you, good night", thinking "darn it, he got to it first..." I thought it would be forced and awkward when two people are calling each other Sir.

Many years ago, my beloved Athos gave me a fountain pen as a gift. I was taken aback by the elegance of the writing instrument. The curves, the weight and the power; the smooth yet textured feeling when writing with it, is unmatched.

Unfortunately, the ink did not flow to see great poetry nor the signing of extravagant checks. It saw mostly the writing of calculus formulas, the scribbles of the writer dozing off in lectures and the occasional doodles.

Being in the IT business, I no longer write much with a pen. Instead, the keyboard has become my pen... and coffee has become my ink.

How I do miss those days of writing.

But I suppose if I dwell on this pen too much, I am missing the point. I suppose the point is really about writing, speaking, thinking and ultimately, expression.

This blog has been a joy because it gives me the freedom to write. And as my dear philosopher friend quotes an article in her blog - "Blogs are by nature very personal—an intimate, often ferocious expression of the blogger's passions"

Although the fountain pen, the mighty fountain pen may be dead, may you live to express freely.

Here is one of my favourite paintings: Le Bal au Moulin de la Galette
A masterpiece of impressionist art by Pierre Auguste Renoir.
I'm no art connoisseur, but I can tell you why I like this artwork.
I like it because... it's just great and I like it! We don't have to be so learnededed to appreciate beauty, do we?

At first glance you see a party going on and the two women in the center of the painting.

Look closer...

There is more going on in this painting then just a ball. If you look to the far right, there is a young man looking at the girl in the dark dress. A story unfolds that I can only image.

The girls have their attention to the guy with his back to us. The younger girl (I'm assuming) is looking off somewhere yet still listening, while the girl in the dark dress is locked in conversation. Then there is the young man with the hat on the far right.

A brief glance perhaps, but immortally frozen in this painting. He is frozen, while the crowd bustles with activity.

This is what this painting does to me. I feel like I'm in the painting and it evokes an emotional response.

I have the utmost respect for artists. Being raised by parents who are painters, I saw first hand how so much goes into art.

It's amazing, how art speaks to you in an emotional language. We are emotional creatures after all and to master, manipulate and create something that the viewer can relate to, something that will move the viewer... amazing.

Here is Sur la Terrasse by Renoir. This is one of my better half's favorite paintings. In her words "...she has such a content look about her. She looks young but that expression gives her maturity. And I love the vivid, striking contrast of her red hat to the rest of the painting".

A few more bits of info:
"To achieve the appearance of spontaneity, impressionist painters used broken brushstrokes of bright, often unmixed colors" - msn encarta
Impressionism is said to have influenced future art "by recreating the sensation in the eye that views the subject, rather than recreating the subject..." - wikipedia

I suppose I'm going on a theme here... French cuffs, French blue shirts, French impressionist art...

French fries anyone?